Am I grasping here?

I'm going to try to condense this. Still new to this & to my acceptance of being a player in this phenomenon - not just as an open minded outsider. So here goes, try to stay with me.

As an adult looking back, I remember only a handful of dreams from my childhood. One stands apart from the few. I went to catholic school from K - 3rd grade, even though my parents were Lutheran. This was the mid 80's. At this school, girls were not allowed to wear shorts unless the temp reached 80° or more. Tights must be worn with dresses, no gum, etc. Nuns did one-on-one flash cards & that sort of teaching.

So in the "dream", (quotes because the more I reflect, this actually felt much different than any other dream), our small class of 16 students were all playing by a rushing river. Half on each side. It wasn't particularly wide, maybe 6 or 7 feet. But it was rushing so fast it was practically white. We were tossing a red rubber kick-ball back & forth. (We played a lot of kick-ball @ recess back then)

It was night time though, or just dusk while we played. Suddenly there was a very bright light over the river (about 30-ish ft above) & we were excited because we could play longer due to illuminating a direct circle around us. (@ this point it looked pitch dark beyond the light). We were not scared, we were happy.

Much to our delight, we discovered that when we jumped to throw the ball, the light would catch us & soon we were bouncing & floating over the river. Our hair & dresses would float & ruffle, like in a breeze, but other than that there was no wind, no sound-not even the rushing of the river anymore. Just our laughter. The light kept getting brighter & brighter & then I woke up the next morning.

This has stuck with me for nearly 30 years. At the time, I didn't know anything about aliens, ufo's or any phenomenon like it.

I have been fascinated by this subject nearly my whole adult life- growing greater over the years, but until just recently, I thought I was an outsider looking in. I saw, with my own eyes & had an experience with what I believe was a ufo. From sharing that experience in the sub r/thetruthishere, I received some great advice about opening up that part of me.

And let me tell you, it's kinda been like cracking a window on a hot day. Things are seeping in & my brain seems to be connecting dots.

I have an unexplainable connection to my 2 kids. When my 1st was born, I'd wake up 3-5 mins right before they'd knock on my door. I knew she was coming & wanted me. Same for my 2nd, although he's a bit more independent.

About me: I am super sensitive to others feelings & emotions. An empath.

I have had lots of missing time. I've only just begun to realize this. I've ALWAYS blown this off as "loosing track of time", "Mom brain", being flighty. It's not always huge chunks of time (not counting nighttime), especially when I'm not alone in the house (as far as I'm aware).

Something that has always bothered me, since I first heard of it, was the Hybrid theory. Especially after I became a mom. (no surprise there) But something happened to me 2 nights ago.

Kids were in their rooms at the end of the hall. My boyfriend & I were in the living room, 20 feet down the hall, talking about our poor mini doxie needing to be put to sleep due to age & poor health. I was crouching over the end of the couch, giving him some loves when I heard clear as day- a whisper, "mom", quickly followed by a louder, more urgent whispered, "MOM".

The TV was muted. I was mid "cooing" when I heard it. I stopped & looked over my shoulder toward the kitchen entry & actually did a double take because there WASN'T anyone there, as I expected it to be one of the kids! I looked directly @ my boyfriend & asked if he heard that! He paused & replied no, to which I explained what I had just heard. He saw me do the double-take. I felt instantly light headed & sank to my knees. Just dumbstruck! He went to check the kids, both in bed, in their rooms.

My initial response was "a ghost", but I've lived in this house for 8 yrs w/o incident. But what dawned on me next was the deep connection to the whisper I heard. It's tone, it's resonance & urgency. It wasn't just because I had expected it to be one of the kids. It felt familiar, followed by an overwhelming sadness & longing. A longing for something that I never knew I was longing for until I felt this.

Now I can't shake it & everytime I think about it, I always end up with the same feeling. You guys, it felt like it was my child. And I can see a flash of an image my head. There's this fuzziness around a face & shoulders. Like, light is very bright behind it, so I just see the out line & edges. I think it's female & all I want to do is run up to her & hug her, hold her, like I've been missing her for so long. My heart has been aching ever since...

Have I really thought I'd been an outsider to this phenomenon my whole life, only to see now that I might have been a part of it this whole time? Cracks are forming in my memories & I feel like something important is there. Am I making connections when there are none? Am I thinking & feeling these things, because I've always been obsessed with it? Like I'm really just crackers & this is my mind's "Grand Finale"?

If you've made it this far, thanks for sticking through & I would appreciate your thoughts & interpretations & helpful feedback!

Submitted August 29, 2016 at 08:46PM by InquiringMindsAlike http://ift.tt/2bVVVLa