I am taking the Steps to Knowledge and I am on Step 4 today. I want to share my experiences of my practice here in the hopes of connecting with others who might be curious to know what it is about and what it feels like. Hopefully we will all learn together.
My step today is Step 4: "I want what I think I know". But I would like to quickly go back and mention the first three steps.
My experience of Step 1 is of hope and expectation. "I am without Knowledge now." I want to experience Knowledge, this greater part of myself that is so mysterious and incredible. The practices were hard though. I never dreamt that sitting still and focussing on any idea for just ten minutes would be so difficult. It helps if you are curious, like me, and have begun reading of the NM to get a better understanding of what Knowledge is about. Even so, I was unable to really get a clear idea of it in my mind.
Step 2 was no easier. "Knowledge is with me. Where am I?" A lot to unpack. What is going on in my life? What is going on where I am in the world? Within myself? I realised halfway through the second practice period that I was really just stuck in ideas based on how I see myself - everything relative to me, the person I think I am. I am like a dog on a leash, straining to smell the flowers, while I am ignoring my patient owner who is waiting for me to pay attention so that we can continue on our walk to the park. Letting your mind take a step back, close its mouth and sit down quietly so that somebody else can have a turn to speak is no doubt a big factor in reclaiming(?) your connection to Knowledge. I also felt a lot of insecurity about where I am vs where I should be in the world.
Step 3 gave me a bit of personal satisfaction. "What do I really know?" I like the idea of re-examining assumptions. Why do people get so defensive over their beliefs and ideas? But then I started the practice. My initial thought was, "I don't really know anything, obviously." But that didn't take 10 minutes to think, let alone 30. So there I was, five seconds into my first practice period, wondering where to go from there. What do I really know? I started looking around my room for clues. I recognised the things that make up my physical surroundings, but how much did I really know about them? I know that my desk is made of wood, but where did that wood come from? What do I really know about it? Suddenly I was trying to figure out how I could possibly claim to know anything, really. Now I am going insane! What do I really know? Needless to say, if I make it all the way to the end of Steps to Knowledge, I will have to come back and revisit this issue, hopefully with more wisdom.
And this brings us to today. Step 4: "I want what I think I know." This has by far been the strongest sensation of peace and understanding that I have had during my practice. I started by trying to examine what my assumptions were, but as usual my thoughts were all over the place. Then I remembered my commute home. I had gotten impatient with another driver and had honked my horn at him. That memory brought me to the realisation that I regularly assume malevolent motives behind people's actions, particularly when they inconvenience me. I assume. I don't even stop to examine the anger and self-righteousness. I just assume. The world is so much less hostile and angry when you realise that everybody is going through life stuck in their own heads. Taking a personal perspective means often that you cannot be objective in the moment, when standing back would reveal that you are not really involved at all. Our assumptions become a familiar shape around us, like a shell onto which the world is projected. Now the world takes on the shape of this shell, and in its folds we see our own fears and insecurities reflected back at us as if in confirmation. I felt so much calmer, at peace.
Thank you for reading. If you haven't read much of the NM, or if you are just curious and browsing past, definitely look into it. I cannot explain the excitement you will feel when you recognise it for yourself! Some aspects of it may be heavy, though, like the Allies of Humanity Briefings and the Great Waves of Change. These books are a must, whether you believe in them or not.
Submitted March 28, 2019 at 03:36PM by Everythingisanexampl https://ift.tt/2HIrjgw
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