This is going to make me sound insane, but please read this before you decide I’m losing my mind.
For the past couple of years I have gradually noticed that people stare at me funny. When this first started I thought it was because I had crazy colored hair, then I had a shaved head so I thought it was that, I have a very distinctive raspy voice so I also thought it might be that.
Until, it started happening more frequently. It went from happening every once in a while to happening ever single time I interact with literally anyone. Work, personal life, getting food, grocery shopping, etc.
It doesn’t matter where I go or what I do people literally stare at me like I’m not human. Yes I really do mean that, it’s the perfect description. The way I’m looked at is as if a human is seeing an extraterrestrial being in front of them and are scared. People look confused/scared or both when they interact with me.
I also want to add that most of the time (bare with me) I don’t feel real? Or human? When I’m idle, meaning by myself or in a room alone I feel real, I feel human, I feel like I exist. As soon as I start interacting with people, it feels like I’m sucked out of my body and like I’m not real.
Sometimes it feels like I’m not real or human and other people can see that? (God I sound insane). Like, I have to talk myself through normal mundane things. For example, if im talking to someone I say in my head out loud “okay now make eye contact” “okay now nod your head” “look away for a minute; too much eye contact” “okay now look back” “now take a breathe”
It’s not over thinking, I feels a lot different. It feel like in the moment I physically don’t know how to act like a normal human and have to guide myself.
Does anyone else experience this or should I just check myself into the mental hospital now lol? Help, im scared im actually a crazy person.
Submitted August 24, 2022 at 09:06AM by ImKitten_ https://ift.tt/fGS38Kd
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