I pray that among the usual people that think they got it figured out and call out things like "psychosis" or "that's not really telepathy pal" and other dismissive replies, ONE is there that can relate, even in the slightest, and offer something, any insight or encouragement. Thank you, in any case, for your attention and consideration. <3
Help is needed, and while all answers are within, maybe I require some pointers to get me going.
A preface:
- This may not be particularly short, but I will make it way shorter than I'd like to. I tend to overexplain, but I have a strong feeling that those who know of what I'll be talking about need not more than a few lines to catch it, and those that don't won't get it even after a collection of paragraphs. Still if you have a question I'm happy to provide details. It will still be long for most of you, so I deeply thank those that take the 10 minutes to read fully! <3
- Currently, the most accurate "model of reality" to me seems to be one like Indra's net, where one (jewel) is in all (jewels), and all is in one. One where belief determines what you experience, or how you experience it - in an eternal present moment, all exists now, and what discriminates between different aspects of this eternal moment would be belief, what we accept as true, as a given. LOA, Neville Goddard, Bashar with his "infinite parallel realities" model, these seem to fit quite well together, along countless others.
So if you find this doesn't resonate at all with you and that it looks like we are from different planets, I understand. No need to try and force your view on my situation, I don't need convincement.
- I am open to many interpetations. My current beliefs show me a specific perspective that can change and evolve, but can't really be "unseen". In other words, I'm not willing to give in to hints at psychosis or similar, as mentioned, dismissive attitudes just to avoid momentary discomfort and reduce my awareness, numbing what I once perceived was happening. I'm tired of not knowing myself.
These are a few things I consider relevant for a deeper perception of what I'm going through. Additional: I've been unaware up until last year of the mystical/mysterious nature of existence and was purely materialistic. A series of events lead me to stumble upon Bashar first, then Neville and then started to make up my own mind. Material mindset lingers, not for long, but slowly a more spiritual approach takes over since it's undeniable. I think materialism wanes off to the degree we detach our being from any identifications and egoic notions.
In the middle of this evolution of belief/mindset, I suddenly stumbled upon telepathy and how actually real it is in my reality.
It happened in February. Sitting on a bench, I suddenly thought verbally "can you hear me? that'd be crazy" or something in that spirit. Important detail: I never used to think in words. Like, I did not have an inner monologue going on, maybe once a month or something I could say something inside for whatever reason, or if I'm reading, but never talked mentally.
As I kept entertaining this idea, suddenly a couple sitting on the bench next to me started answering out loud (I'll be using the word "internally" to refer to mental speaking, and "out loud" for speaking done with the mouth) and as soon as I realized there was no room for coincidence, I freaked out at the realitness of the moment, my heart sped up. Did not leave because my curiosity was stronger than my fear, as Borges said, and I kept inner talking while anxious.
From that day up until a few weeks ago I've been a mess, socially speaking. What changed is that I managed to relax a bit, but still got a lot of uneasy moments.
As soon as I realized people can hear me I've been trying to understand why can't I hear back, why is it kept secret (or so it seems), and many other questions. In parallel, I've noticed what looks like a part of myself that must get a reaction, self sabotage and overall focus on the negative. At first I was stating "embarassing", true things about myself. About sexuality, what I do or don't do. Then it progressed into stuff I would never think about before. I would say negative things to people, like internally speaking about something I perceived (fat or whatever the eye can see, and if nothing is there the mind jus defaults into making stuff up) or saying lies about myself! That's why I said self sabotage, I know I'm not a rapist or a violent person, consciously, but there's some unresolved stuff that "makes me" impersonate such characters.
I learned to apologize and state that I discovered this not long ago, which seems to calm down those affected by my thoughts. I deduce that some can feel intent too, and sense that those intrusive thoughts stem from insecurity, or shame/anger issues, or whatever the case.
I noticed that when I just forget about my problem or when people are stone cold (or just are not telepathic lol) I stop the inner monologue (which btw has been out of control since discovering this, that's why I mentioned I never had one) and talk normally. When I start thinking it takes up some of the attention from the present moment, obviously. So it really is a problem as long as I think I have it!
So, then, this issue is like an issue of relaxing. Relaxing takes no method, you may help induce it but the actual thing known as "relaxing" is the abscence of method, of effort, of intent. Just like not thinking (which I think is encompassed by relaxing.
So, my questions now, which are quite a few. You've made it this far, for which I thank you.
I haven't doing any inner work nearly as much as I should, I dont know what I'm waiting for. But is this intrusive thoughts thing a manifestation if issues inside me? Nothing happens for no reason, as we know, and some people don't have this issue when discovering telepathy, so what's up?
I also associate my poor attention/retention span to the emotional unresolved energies in my body/mind complex. This in turn caused to distract myself for years, unkwowingly repressing the stuff further through junk food, porn and social media scrolling. Overstimulation.
I know I got the good in me, some days I just feel wonderful and with minimal thoughts. I can vaguely remember myself being this way in my first years, up until 12/13 I think. I'm 22 right now.
But these negative impressions (trauma) have left me with emotiional numbness, I feel cringey opening up to my fmily or just expressing love with them (with friends too but to a lesser degree), trust issues too, insecurity too, some shame/approval seeking.. anyways, I think trauma is a mix of these in general, so you get the point. Overall it's a fear based belief system. I'm tired of this, I can ignore this for some months once again but I know it's a waiting game before I'm forced to change, and better to embrace the discomfort now than to endure actual external, possibly painful and rolonged, discomfort in the future. I know I'm destined for greatness, I feel like I can develop healing abilities (among others), but these qualities are best developed with a clear vessel, free of major emotional distortions and energy blockages. Whenever I have applied myself naturally, stuff just flowed. Doing sports, I'd carry our team effortlessly (which is not fair to say since it was mostly a process of activating the Messi mode of the rest of the team, you know?). If a subject interested me I'd ace it easily. I would charm anyone, developing any bond, evoking the warm side of people always, no matter the label of the relationship. I would write great songs or amazing short stories. These moments of clarity keep me faithful and make me grow more tired of the way ego, or traumas, get in the way and make it self conscious, insecure, just overall muddy it up.
I know this has to do with the tightness in my hips and that I need to breathe into my chest if I want to breathe fully/deeply, because my core area must have tight muscles (psoas I guess) that don't let the diaphragm descend properly. It's all connnected because ultimately it's all one, and I'd love to let the energy flow freely through my spine (or whatever way you picture it, call it Kundalini call it electrical impulses). I'm tired of having small glimpses of empathy and almost crying but feeling it shut down quickly because of ego resistance and the way this resistance stores emotions in the body, tightness, blockages... IT NEEDS TO GO. Yoga&meditation&breathwork seem to facilitate this expression/release of energy, could you confirm this? How to let go of the emotions when they arise? How to let them unfold and avoid ego interfering? How to finally forgive? Etc...
The second part of my questions I'll comment it. First was about the most urgent aspect of this predicament. The next one, while less important, is still relevant and helpful to clarify
Submitted November 01, 2022 at 03:38PM by handmade-travesura https://ift.tt/xS3Uglr
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